Are you being hurtful or helpful?

By Sandy Glanfield

I have been sitting with two conversations this week.
Kim Polman’s TEDx talk.
And our podcast with Daryl Davis.

Different lives. Different work.
And yet, they both point to something that is so often missed.

That beneath everything, we are not that different.

Across cultures and beliefs, there are things we all seem to want.
To be loved.
To be respected.
To be heard.
To be treated fairly and truthfully.
To want for our families what others want for theirs.

And I find myself holding that alongside what we are seeing in the world right now.

Conflict. Division.
A sense that we are further apart than ever.

I am not offering answers.
But I keep coming back to a different place to begin.

What would change if we started here?

Daryl starts in places most of us would never go.
In conversation with people who hold deep hatred towards him. And yet, he stays. And over time, something shifts.

The edges soften.
The certainty begins to loosen.
Not because anyone is forced or persuaded, but because, slowly, something more human becomes visible.

Kim speaks to this in another way.

Through Imaginal Cells.
How they find each other.
How they connect.
How they build something new.

What connects them is a shared signal. For Kim, that signal is the Golden Rule - To treat others and the planet as you would wish to be treated.

Not as an idea, but as something we recognise in each other.
In moments of care. Of fairness. Of truth.

These are the signals that help us find each other.
And build something different.

But they ask something of us…

To go first.
To choose curiosity over judgement.
To meet each other in what we share, not just where we differ.

It can feel small. But perhaps this is where change begins.

So I am left wondering.

If we chose to meet each other here, what might become possible?