The Lost Joy of Entering a Room : Ben Solanky

By Sandy Glanfield

What happens when we stop performing and start connecting.

Do you fill the room, eager, curious, glad to be there? Do you notice what’s around you? The atmosphere, the people, the possibilities of connection?

Or do you enter cautiously, feeling uncertain and performative, as though there’s a particular way you’re supposed to show up? A certain way you should sound, behave, or position yourself?

Many of us carry that pressure now.

There is an unspoken expectation to do things right, to present ourselves perfectly, to avoid saying the wrong thing or appearing out of place. It is exhausting. And more than that, it quietly erodes something deeply human. Our openness to one another.

When we enter spaces preoccupied with how we are being perceived, we miss so much. We miss the warmth of the room. We miss the unexpected conversation. We miss the joy of discovering how someone else sees the world.

At work especially, we have begun to frame connection through a transactional lens. We call it networking. We assess the value of a conversation before it has even begun. What might come from this? What opportunity might it lead to? Is this person useful to know?

But what if the point was simply the meeting itself?

The simple pleasure of encountering someone new. Listening to what they are building, creating, dreaming about. Noticing possible synergies because curiosity naturally reveals them.

Sometimes we are also afraid of difference. Afraid that we might say the wrong thing, or hear something we disagree with, or find ourselves in uncomfortable territory. In a culture of quick judgement and instant reaction, that fear can quietly close us off from one another.

So when did we lose the joy of discovery?

When did we stop delighting in the ways others are shaping their worlds, or in the hospitality of being welcomed into new spaces?

One of the things I love about Ben Solanky, and what comes through clearly in his episode of the Let’s Reboot the Future podcast, is the spirit with which he enters a room.

His instinct is not performative. He is not calculating the value of the interaction. Instead, there is a genuine sense of gratitude in how he shows up. He is keen to be there and keen to connect.

When Ben talks about champions, those people who find resources, uncover opportunities, and help things happen, I wonder if it is this mindset that makes the difference.

Champions arrive curious.

They arrive open.

They arrive grateful.

Because they are not caught up in their own internal performance, wondering how they are being judged or how they should appear, they can actually notice what is around them. They see the people, the ideas, and the possibilities in the room.

They are present for the joy of the space itself. The creation, the connection, the shared exploration of what might be possible.

And perhaps that is something we need a lot more of.

Maybe the way we enter a room is not a small thing at all. Maybe it is a practice. A quiet expression of how we relate to one another.

If the Golden Rule asks us to treat others as we would wish to be treated, then perhaps part of that is arriving with openness. With curiosity. With generosity of spirit.

Not evaluating the room, but receiving it.

Not performing, but connecting.

So the next time you walk into a room, you might ask yourself a simple question.

How do I want to arrive?

Let’s Reboot the Future is a podcast exploring ethical leadership, moral courage, and the Golden Rule in action through conversations with social impact leaders.