What happens when the life you’re living no longer feels like your own? - John Perkin's episode

By Sandy Glanfield

Listening to John Perkins on the Let’s Reboot the Future podcast made me reflect on how often we end up living the life we feel we should live, rather than the one we know, deep inside, is right for us.

So many of us grow up surrounded by well intentioned expectations. From parents, schools, systems and communities that want stability, success and a future that looks sensible from the outside. These expectations usually come from care and goodwill, but they can slowly pull us away from who we are and who we want to become.

John speaks honestly about this tension. About taking a path that was expected of him, and the moment he realised it was not his. He describes metaphorically breaking his leg (his parents had feared he’d lose his football scholarship if he broke his leg) by stepping away from university and the life he was supposed to have. Not because it was easy or brave in a neat way, but because not listening to himself had become harder.

In an earlier episode of Let’s Reboot the Future, Tim Smit talks about the seed many of us carry within us, what he calls the seed of disappointment. It forms when we ignore what we know about who we want to become, or what we feel called to do or give in the world. John’s story feels like a living example of what happens when that seed is finally listened to, rather than buried.

What struck me was the long, uneven journey that followed. The uncertainty, the fear of disappointing others, and the discovery that when he did finally stand up for what felt right, those he loved stood by him, with love and care.

In my work with Reboot the Future, I have learned how useful it can be to ask simple questions that help people reconnect with what matters to them. One of these is asking what you loved to do at around eight years old. Not as nostalgia, but as a way of remembering instincts and interests that existed before expectations fully took hold. Often, buried in that answer, are clues about our gifts and what gives us energy. For John, that thread was writing, something he followed through many twists and turns, and which shaped not only his own life but wider change too.

There is something Golden Rule about this. Treating ourselves with the same honesty, care and respect we so readily extend to others. Trusting that listening inward is not selfish, but often the starting point for living and working in ways that contribute meaningfully beyond ourselves.

John’s story is a reminder that the path is rarely straight or comfortable. But it is often truer.