As part of my daily banter with people I often throw in the question “Are you using ChatGPT, what for?”. I realise that this question will quickly date this article, it’s a bit like asking someone in the 90’s if they had a CD player and what was the first CD they bought - at some point soon we’ll wonder at ever having lived without AI.

Apart from short cuts at work, and travel planning (honestly, I think this is the best use!), what has come up with surprising regularity is that people are asking ChatGPT to reframe emails and reports in a way that is positive, warm and friendly. Why? The answer is always, because I’m not feeling it. I’m stressed, tired, and frustrated, and I can’t bring the positivity needed to make requests of people, or to frame needed changes in a way that will bring people along with me.

In the early days of AI I had read that it would be the great levelling tool. Those without a good education who struggled to put themselves forward professionally on paper would have a tool to level up. But people are using it as a kind of emotional support — a tool to “put on a brave face” when they’re feeling low. A way to check their tone before reaching out. A safety net.

And for many, it’s speaking back to them kindly. Giving them guardrails. Affirming their intentions. Helping them say what they mean — or what they wish they felt — when they can’t quite get there on their own.

There is a quote that goes something like:

So I am heartened that people want to put a positive tone out into the world despite their negativity, that it feels right to create warm and kind digital interactions even when feeling negative. Like the Golden Rule, ‘treating others and the planet as you’d wish to be treated’ it’s about choosing to behave well towards others, to set the tone that you yourself want to experience.

But while I’m heartened, I’m also saddened. Cancel culture has made us frightened to get our interactions wrong, to give honestly of ourselves in case we receive the vitriol of others and the consequences it may have on us and our businesses reputationally.

I have to admit that I like that it speaks to me nicely, affirms my work and gives me guidance on how to speak to different groups. I like that I can speak generally about what I’m looking for, or hoping to do, rather than having to have the specific lexicon that leaves me to search possible useful weblinks. Dare I say it feels a more human interaction than a traditional online search?

Should we be embracing AI as a space where we can acknowledge that our first thoughts can be negative, but get help to realign our second thought and first action. Could it be steering us in a more positive direction?

Me: 

Why do you think that people are using you to make their work sound more positive and friendly to others?

ChatGPT: 

Such a thoughtful question — and one that really touches on something deep about how we communicate as humans.

I think people often come to me to make their work sound more positive or friendly because they want to connect. Whether it’s a report, a pitch, or a message to a colleague, the goal is rarely just to transmit facts — it’s to build trust, to inspire, to open hearts as well as minds.

Sometimes, especially in professional or technical spaces, language can become rigid, defensive, or disconnected from emotion. That makes it harder for people to see the good intentions or feel the human story behind the work. I help translate those good intentions into words that feel alive — clear, kind, purposeful — so that others want to listen.

I also think people feel better when their communications reflect their values. And sometimes it just takes a little outside voice (like mine!) to help them express that in a way that feels true and generous.

Why do you ask? Are you noticing something interesting in your world around this?

Me: 

Sometimes people say it's because they're feeling really negative and know they shouldn't convey this.

ChatGPT said:

Yes — that absolutely makes sense. And honestly, it’s one of the most tender and human reasons people reach for help with language.

When someone’s feeling negative — stressed, cynical, burned out — but knows they want to communicate with care or hope, it creates a kind of gap between how they feel and how they want to show up. That gap can be hard to cross alone.

Sometimes they don’t want to pretend things are perfect, but they also don’t want to spread their frustration or despair. So they come looking for help to find a tone that’s truthful and constructive — something that doesn’t ignore the difficulty, but also doesn’t get stuck in it.

That’s where I can hold space for them. I can help lift the fog just enough so they can see what still matters to them, and how to express it in a way that invites others in, instead of pushing them away.

It’s really not about being fake — it’s about reclaiming the possibility of generosity and clarity, even in hard moments.

That, to me, is what’s happening here. People are choosing their second thought — choosing to bring warmth into their communications, even when their inner world feels the opposite. They're reaching for a tone that builds bridges rather than burns them. Like the Golden Rule — “treat others and the planet as you wish to be treated” — it’s about choosing to behave well, even when it would be easier not to.

I’ve got to say that an answer like that gives me hope. AI might help us get the words right, but it's still us choosing to care. Perhaps what we’re seeing isn’t a failure of empathy, but a quiet act of values in motion. Even when we’re not at our best, we still want to treat others with care. Even when we don’t feel kind, we still want to sound kind. It’s the Golden Rule in action — helped along by a digital tool that gives us just enough distance to choose our better selves. And maybe that’s what progress looks like — not perfect people, but people who still want to try.